It was late (or early, depending on your outlook on the world) when I was joined by the boy who was living in the room next to mine, way back on the other side of the building. I can remember, although I'd had some drinks, sitting alone in my friend’s room on a single bed, the mattress overly springy and with a coarse plastic coating, attempting to stream a song over our dorm’s spotty Internet connection. The whole thing went down near the end of my freshman year at a party, at which people from the whole dorm floor were drunk and celebrating, carelessly streaming in and out of each other’s rooms, following the various different pop songs until one room took their fancy. I was at college, living in dorms, and the experience-aside from the usual horrifying awkwardness and somewhat spontaneity of the occasion-was completely and utterly unremarkable aside from one thing: the guy I slept with identified as straight. I was 19 when I first had full-on sex with another man.
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I had to make the internet great again for gay pornography. Well, since no other dick loving motherfucker was willing to take this job upon him and Google results kept giving my gay fans a big "Fuck You" in the face, when trying to find good gay porn sites, I knew I was the only man for the job. At first, I told you homo's to "Go Fuck Yourself"! I mean, me, "ThePornDude", the ultimate pussy destroying alpha male! The God of straight porn! The role model that your father should have been! The Chuck Norris of the porn industry getting associated with dicks, cocks, schlongs or penises? Fuck no, right? I don't want the bitches to think I became a fucking homosexual! Since a lot of you faggots saw my straight version "ThePornDude", I kept getting bombarded with requests to make a gay version of it. I know it sounds weird, since sausage fests ain't my thing and I wouldn't even watch gay content, if they would pay me for it. |
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